i can meow!

i swear i did it! it happened like three times and it wasn't on accident. it sounded less like "me-ow" and more like "ah-ah." but it came out of me...

ah yes, back story. i cannot mew, meow, what have you. i was born with tumors on my eyes and taken from the pack of "normals" if you will at a very young age. the tumors grew and i couldn't see a damn thing. finally, my mom had one eye removed; it was bursting in the socket and oozing all the time. but the other eye, my "good" one, well let's just say i can see "the light." in any case, i tried living with this cat Harriet but she was always coming in for a fight and running away, laughing at me as i swatted at thin air. so mom, bless her, got rid of her/found her a good home[that's what you're supposed to say right?] and i was left alone. and i was quiet.

at about 2 years of age, i started to get "the fear." i'm not sure of what but when i heard wind whistling past my ears i knew something was amiss. perhaps it was an open door, or an unfriendly neighbor so i started to...i'm thinking of the words...bleat, chirp, click-click like a dolphin. i leave my mouth open and say "ah, ah, ah, ahh, ah, ah, ah" over and over again. i'm quite good at this.

i know what you are probably thinking. a blind, one-eyed cat that can't meow? yeah, yeah, but i can think and write and rally like a dolphin. turns out, i was as shocked as you, that meowing is not an inherent cat trait or i'm not a cat. so there you have it. so why meow now?

well, hard to say it, but i was once co-dependent. i followed mom around and i was terribly lonely when she was away. and then, this month [look, i've been through a hard time, it took a while] i started exerting my independence. so i'd walk right up to her, paw her leg and then prance [in a cute but forceful way] to my bowl. well, it wasn't working. so i started opening my mouth over the bowl in hopes of divine intervention.

for weeks it was just me standing there sniffing my own breath and then..."ah-eyow." something came out! i'm still working the kinks out but there is definitely some potential there and i plan on exploiting it to the fullest.

like tomorrow? six a.m. at six a.m., i turn into a rooster.

mom's gonna kill me; hopefully, she'll feed me first.

[chris is being very supportive of my new vocal chords. here he is helping me with my stretching exercises.]